Coaching Corner: You Control Courage
When you get into a funk it can be very difficult to get out. We start to look at things we’re not doing right and tend to minimize the pursuits that we’re exceeding expectations at. We’ve all been there, where you catch yourself saying things like “Oh if I had only done this, or man if I had done it that way it would have all turned out.” If this hasn’t happened to you, you’re lying to yourself.
I know in my heart I’m guilty of this at times. Even over the course of a day. If you’re a person who expects nothing but 110 percent out of yourself expect this to happen. In fact what I am telling you today, anticipate it. All of you out there making behavior changes this thinking is typically inevitable if you’re stretching the status quo. The question is how do we shift the thinking?
I like to call this thinking the “un-controllable” blame game. When we start to go back in the past and get bummed out about things that have happened or didn’t happen, we start playing a game that allows for no winners. We begin analyzing outcomes and situations that are no longer controllable. We may even go so far as to let this effect our present.
As the simplest suggestion today, we have to have courage to look at only what we control. We can’t control the outside environment (or its terrible fast food restaurants), we can’t control how our friends act; we can’t solve someone else’s problems. We can only control ourselves.
I am a big believer in these two statements #1 We alone control our own happiness, If you want to change something, change it. #2 Whether you think you can or think you can’t your probably right. (At times, I’ve even go so far to believe that if you think you’re going to get a common cold you probably will … anybody been there?)
Takeaway from today: Don’t let yourself get into this unwinnable game. Re-focus your energy on the things you can do today and the things you can control in the future.
Fortunately enough, I am lucky enough to have a guest back this week (for a whole month) who gave me the courage to find this perspective. I wear a bracelet that she gave me on my right hand and look at it when it becomes necessary. It has symbol on it that means courage. My take: I need to have courage in my life to focus on the present, courage to succeed, but more importantly courage to fail and become stronger.